It's been a while...

Wow, it's been a while…okay a few years…since I've last posted.  I guess the only thing I can truthfully say is that I've felt great and life really took off for me over the past few years.  Recently though, I got to thinking, that just because I feel great doesn't mean I shouldn't blog about my journey as a Crohnie.  You take the bad and the good - unfortunately, I tend to dwell on the bad where this disease is concerned.  Lately though, I've been LIVING…I mean really LIVING life, every day, every moment, every second where I feel good I have learned to embrace and cherish.

Since my last blog post so much has happened!  I've met the love of my life, Josh, and we'll be getting married in July.  Thanks match.com!  We have a wonderful, big, puppy - Robbie - our one year old Newfoundland.  The three of us, we make a family…and I am so excited for our future.  I think that meeting Josh helped my Crohn's in ways I never dreamed it would.  All of a sudden I had someone who helped me live a healthier lifestyle and who was there for me at the end of the day.  Don't get me wrong - I still get sick, I mean, after all, I do have a lifelong sentence with Crohn's Disease…but the bad days became fewer than they once had been after I met Josh.  The last flare up I had was over two years ago - I've been off Entocort for two years now.

Within the last few months though, the bad days have come back more often than I'd like them to.  I want to keep myself in check but I also don't want to stop really living.  I am learning the importance of a work-life balance and how precious weekends are.  I've had to adjust lately - I can't burn the candle at both ends anymore…my weekends need to be protected.  My number one priority on weekends and most evenings has got to be recharging myself to get through the next day.  Every day…I pray that I'm not teetering on the edge of a flare up - because who wants to have to deal with Entocort while trying to lose the initial Entocort weight in preparation for a wedding?

One last thought of the day - I'm exhausted and some days I am simply tired of being strong.  I'm tired of making excuses for why I can't go somewhere and I'm tired of being tired…but that's not something Crohnie's like to advertise.  Adjusting your life to fit your Crohn's Disease but not wanting to appear helpless.  It's a tricky battle, this fight against Crohn's.  I know it can be hard for people to understand how it's possible for me to be THAT tired or that sick THAT often…because I don't look sick.  Another life lesson I've learned - sick doesn't always LOOK sick.  As I sit here by my Christmas tree and write this blog, my wish for this Christmas season is for all of us suffering invisible illnesses - that we are able to find compassion in every path we cross.  And if not, we are able to hold onto the strength and the encouragement of those in our support system, those constantly by our sides, whispering daily, "don't worry, you've got this."  

Thank you to my support system - it keeps growing and I am so grateful and blessed.  I may not have a cure, but I will always have strength to keep up the fight.  You've been amazing - every step of the way.

Well - what an incredibly random post - but I had quite a bit on my mind in regards to Crohn's.  It's Crohn's and Colitis Awareness week and so maybe that's it.  Or maybe it's because my heart hurts for those suffering from these awful diseases right now.  Or maybe it's because I will always have hope that we'll see a cure.