Make Memories, Forget the Stress

Hello Friends!

I sit here tonight and blog while sitting by Christmas tree (that suddenly has many gifts under it!) with Miracle on 34th Street (the remake) playing in the background on tv, while I procrastinate addressing our Christmas cards.  Procrastination - yeah - it's still with me even though my college years are behind me.  :)  I wanted to take a few moments to wish you all a Merry Christmas - I have a feeling that in a blink of an eye Christmas will be here.  How is it possible that it's only a week away?!?

Lately, I've been burning the candle at both ends.  I have a tendency to ignore the fact that I'm not feeling that well and that I'll just power through it.  If I ignore it, it will go away, right?  Unfortunately, that's not working out so well for me these days.  I want to be a go-getter though and so I find it hard to tell myself to stop, to say no more today, to say enough is enough for now.  Because of all of this I am very much looking forward to the holidays.  I cannot wait to wear my pajamas past 7:00am, to have slippers on, not heels (not that I wear those so much anymore), and to be surrounded by family.  If you can't be yourself with family, then who can you be yourself with?  They've seen me through the good, the bad, and the ugly and so if I'm not feeling 100% I can be okay with letting my guard down.  And honestly, when you're not feeling good, who doesn't love going home to have their mom take care of them? ;)

I'm not sure where I intended to go with this post…other than to say I'm sorry to those who I may complain to.  I'm sure you're tired of hearing how tired I am all of the time.  Thank you for taking the time to listen when I vent.  If I suddenly have to cancel plans we've made or if I politely decline an invitation to an event please don't take it personally.  Please know that I'd rather be with you, doing whatever it is we may have planned, but that for the sake of my health I cannot.  I am trying really hard to get back to 100% but I'm just not there yet.

I am thankful though for my wonderful life.  I am so lucky to have such an amazing family and such a great love!  As the holidays roll around I am also very thankful for such fantastic childhood Christmas memories.  I love Christmas and that is absolutely because my Grandpa made it so special when I was growing up.  And a huge shout out to my parents too!  They were sneaky for a lot of years traveling from Nebraska to Minnesota.  Never once did I have to question, "how would Santa find me in Minnesota if I lived in Nebraska?"  My Grandpa dressed as Santa and always made the holiday so special.  I remember many Christmas Eve services at his church, Oak Grove Lutheran Church.  I remember the chills that the service could give you.  I remember the Christmas meal of ham, with pineapple and cherries pinned onto it.  You see, my Grandpa was Christmas to me…and he still is.  I still see him in my mind.  I still have ornaments from his tree that now adorn my tree.  He's still here, everywhere, especially at Christmastime.  I see him in every Santa I see…every figurine I walk by in a store…every Christmas movie I watch.  And so I may be exhausted, I may not feel my best, but you can bet I am excited for the magic of Christmas.  I know that Christmas is much more than Santa - there is a true reason to the season.  For me though, Santa connects me to memories from years in the past and to my guardian angel up above.

Merry Christmas to all my friends and family!  I hope your holidays are spectacular!  If you're traveling - I hope that the weather allows for safe travels and that you'll be able to spend time with those you hold dear.  My wish is that you get time to relax, to love, to appreciate, to soak in the magic of the season.  Don't dwell on the stress that life can throw your way.  In 20 years the memories will matter - not the stress of the day.  


"We invite you to ask yourself this one simple question: Do you believe in Santa Clause?" -Miracle on 34th Street

It's been a while...

Wow, it's been a while…okay a few years…since I've last posted.  I guess the only thing I can truthfully say is that I've felt great and life really took off for me over the past few years.  Recently though, I got to thinking, that just because I feel great doesn't mean I shouldn't blog about my journey as a Crohnie.  You take the bad and the good - unfortunately, I tend to dwell on the bad where this disease is concerned.  Lately though, I've been LIVING…I mean really LIVING life, every day, every moment, every second where I feel good I have learned to embrace and cherish.

Since my last blog post so much has happened!  I've met the love of my life, Josh, and we'll be getting married in July.  Thanks match.com!  We have a wonderful, big, puppy - Robbie - our one year old Newfoundland.  The three of us, we make a family…and I am so excited for our future.  I think that meeting Josh helped my Crohn's in ways I never dreamed it would.  All of a sudden I had someone who helped me live a healthier lifestyle and who was there for me at the end of the day.  Don't get me wrong - I still get sick, I mean, after all, I do have a lifelong sentence with Crohn's Disease…but the bad days became fewer than they once had been after I met Josh.  The last flare up I had was over two years ago - I've been off Entocort for two years now.

Within the last few months though, the bad days have come back more often than I'd like them to.  I want to keep myself in check but I also don't want to stop really living.  I am learning the importance of a work-life balance and how precious weekends are.  I've had to adjust lately - I can't burn the candle at both ends anymore…my weekends need to be protected.  My number one priority on weekends and most evenings has got to be recharging myself to get through the next day.  Every day…I pray that I'm not teetering on the edge of a flare up - because who wants to have to deal with Entocort while trying to lose the initial Entocort weight in preparation for a wedding?

One last thought of the day - I'm exhausted and some days I am simply tired of being strong.  I'm tired of making excuses for why I can't go somewhere and I'm tired of being tired…but that's not something Crohnie's like to advertise.  Adjusting your life to fit your Crohn's Disease but not wanting to appear helpless.  It's a tricky battle, this fight against Crohn's.  I know it can be hard for people to understand how it's possible for me to be THAT tired or that sick THAT often…because I don't look sick.  Another life lesson I've learned - sick doesn't always LOOK sick.  As I sit here by my Christmas tree and write this blog, my wish for this Christmas season is for all of us suffering invisible illnesses - that we are able to find compassion in every path we cross.  And if not, we are able to hold onto the strength and the encouragement of those in our support system, those constantly by our sides, whispering daily, "don't worry, you've got this."  

Thank you to my support system - it keeps growing and I am so grateful and blessed.  I may not have a cure, but I will always have strength to keep up the fight.  You've been amazing - every step of the way.

Well - what an incredibly random post - but I had quite a bit on my mind in regards to Crohn's.  It's Crohn's and Colitis Awareness week and so maybe that's it.  Or maybe it's because my heart hurts for those suffering from these awful diseases right now.  Or maybe it's because I will always have hope that we'll see a cure.

       

Bucket List: Complete 1/2 Marathon for Team Challenge...CHECK!

Happy Saturday!  I am full of energy and a new found sense of HOPE thanks to Team Challenge and the AMAZING experience I had last weekend in Las Vegas!  This may be a longer post - and I apologize in advance for that - but it was such a life changing experience for me that I want to shout it from the roof tops (or at least from my blog!).

Christina and I flew out to Vegas on Friday and the marathon was on Sunday.  I figured this was a great plan - it would give my body a few days to adjust to Vegas before tackling the half marathon.  Vegas itself is such an exciting city - but when you add over 1,000 Team Challenge members, along with the other 30,000-40,000 Rock'N'Roll marathon runners - it becomes an EXTRAORDINARY city!  I was in awe of the Team Challenge apparel that everyone was wearing - it was so amazing to know that so much awareness was happening for Crohn's and Colitis!  The Venetian was an excellent hotel to be at for the stay (although I am fairly certain it seemed like we were walking a mile to get to our rooms - which ended up being the longest walk EVER after the 1/2 marathon on Sunday night).  There was a giant Fitness Expo happening that my mentor, Abbe, took us to.  By the way...Abbe is the most amazing mentor ever - she was so encouraging and helpful over the months leading up to the 1/2 marathon and then during the entire weekend.  Her helpful hints came in very handy (always have chapstick with you on the Vegas course, bring gloves for after dark, etc.)  I was very thankful for her while on the course - I think I reached for the chapstick multiple times due to the dry Vegas air (not to mention the unexpected wind advisory!).  As for the gloves - they were short lived...I lost them along the way, but they were helpful while waiting in the corral line.  Friday night there was a Team Challenge - National Team reception.  That was a great place to hear everyone's stories about why they joined Team Challenge and to put faces to names that I'd been hearing on the phone every week during our team calls.  It was here that we met Kathy!  She is an amazing Team Challenge member from North Dakota.  :)

We tried to take it easy on Saturday, I swear we did...but when you're in Vegas how can you NOT go out and do things!?  Christina, Kathy and I ventured out onto the Las Vegas Strip to grab lunch...and then we kept walking after lunch. :)  Maybe not the best idea to walk so much the day before the race - but it sure was fun at the time!  Saturday night was the Team Challenge pasta party.  Let me tell you...waiting in line to go into this Pasta Party was absolutely beyond-words surreal.  There were lines on both sides of the hallway of people cheering and making noise in celebration for Team Challenge.  It was here that I stopped to just stand there and really take it all in.  I was doing this...the dream was quickly becoming the reality.  After two years I had made it to Vegas and I was standing in this line where people were excited about Team Challenge...no longer was I ashamed of what could happen if my Crohn's kicked in...I was standing around a huge number of people who understood, who got it, who also lived with an IBD.  It was at this moment I wanted to cry with happy tears - because that is a feeling I'll never forget.  It's impossible to put it all into words - but it was like I finally had purpose - I finally had a reason as to why I have this disease.  I finally felt like I was gearing up for one of the biggest moments in my life - I was getting ready to literally kick Crohn's in the butt the next day!

Sunday was a pretty low key day.  We had a team meeting that morning which was awesome - what a great group of people Team Challenge is!  They set you up for success with this program...during every step of the way I had a wonderful Endurance Manager (Cindie), a fantastic coach (Coach Dave) and the most inspiring mentor (Abbe).  With these three people on your side - and the amount of support from friends and family - you are for sure going to succeed and cross the finish line.  After the meeting we took a quick stroll around the hotel and did some shopping with Kathy and Becky.  Shopping in Vegas is an experience!  The day flew by fast and before you know it we were getting ready - fake tattoos, sparkles (because, hello, it is Vegas after all), energy blocks, blister band aides, chapsticks, etc.  We were totally ready for this thing! We had very nice shuttle busses that took us to the starting line.  Of course, being in a later corral meant waiting a while to cross the starting line...but when we finally did...there was a burst energy that came around that screamed, "You're here!  You made it!  Let's do this thing!"

I don't even know how to really explain the Strip at Night with the Rock'N'Roll 1/2 Marathon.  I think the closest word is EXCITING...but that really doesn't begin to do it justice.  There were bands at every mile, people along the route cheering you on...and when you heard cow bells, you knew that those were Team Challenge supporters.  The lights of the strip kept you energized and going...and then the other part of the course was just dark enough to make you want to get through it FAST.  The 1/2 marathon started out really great...we started out by the airport (which I found very appropriate and I felt my Grandpa there with me).  We kept up a really great pace (faster than anticipated) and even had a few spurts where jogging happened.  The last few miles were hard...we had completed 10 miles in training and 13 miles is VERY different from 10.  By mile 11 and 12 my stomach was hurting, my feet hurt, and I wanted to be done.  As soon as the finish line was in sight another burst of energy hit (along with another burst of wind gusts).  Knowing the finish line was so close really kept me going.  Crossing it was one moment where I was in absolute awe.

I know that to some 13.1 miles is not a big deal.  For me though - it was HUGE!  I have never been an athlete of any kind - and so to make a goal to complete a 1/2 marathon while battling Crohn's Disease - was a pretty big deal for me.  To finish and check that off the bucket list...that was an even bigger deal. Team Challenge changed my life - I have a new outlook where my Crohn's is concerned (and it's always been a positive outlook but now there's a whole lot of hope mixed in with it).  Challenge.  Change.  Cure.  I truly believe one day I'll see a cure...or at least a way to better manage IBDs.  Please know that if you know someone that suffers with an IBD...they may look like they're fine (because let's be honest - if you met one of us tomorrow you wouldn't be able to tell by the way we look that there's anything wrong with us) but they may not be.  For far too long IBD patients have suffered in silence because it's an embarrassing disease - not something everyone wants to talk about.  Be there for them.  It doesn't mean you have to ask details about it or know everything that is going on with their medical stuff...it just means that you let them know you've got their back.

THANK YOU to everyone who has had my back along this journey.  Thank you to those who have made a donation, who made a purchase through the Tastefully Simple, Pampered Chef, and/or Scentsy parties, who have purchased from "Cupcakes for Crohn's" and thank you to those of you who have offered a kind word, watched my journey unfold on Facebook, and who have believed that I could accomplish this.  I know that my positive outlook is only possible because of the wonderful support system I have.  Thank you to Dr. Petersen for being a wonderful doctor who has done everything possible to make sure I am managing my disease.  Thank you to Christina for committing to completing Vegas with me and helping me out with all of the cupcakes.  It was a very LONG journey - with lots of cupcakes - but we crossed the finish line!  Thank you to my family who sees me at my absolute worst with this disease and are always there for me.  Thank you to everyone who cheered me on via Facebook the night of the event - you have no idea how much that helped!  My phone was with me on the course and knowing I had so many people watching for updates helped to keep me going!  Thank you to Abbe - without your guidance and our Facebook chats along the way I'm not sure I would have been as prepared as I was for this 1/2 marathon.  It was a good feeling to know that I could talk to someone who had been through this journey and was doing wonderful work through Team Challenge. I couldn't have done this without you!

For now - that's one bucket list item checked off!  I think the next bucket list item won't be as physically challenging - but maybe mentally/emotionally draining...I think I'll try writing a novel. :)  As for Team Challenge...I hope to see you in a few years!  Is Nashville an option?  :D  Cupcakes for Crohn's will be an ongoing thing.  That's how the fundraising will happen for the next Team Challenge event.   Cupcakes are on hold though until after the holidays...it's time to get serious about some Christmas baking.

THANK YOU again for all the support!

Almost to Vegas!

Hello!

As I sit and write this post tonight I cannot believe how close we are to Vegas...how real this suddenly all is!  The fundraising has been going really well...our "Cupcakes for Crohn's" booth this weekend has pushed us to within $500 of the final fundraising goal!  I am so thankful to all the support I have received - it's amazing!

The training has also gone well.  We completed the 10 mile walk last weekend.  We are ready for Vegas and the 13.1 miles.  I cannot wait to cross that finish line!

I meant to write more tonight but baking and selling cupcakes all weekend has sure exhausted me. :)

21 Days until the Las Vegas 1/2 Marathon!

Some days are easier than others...and that is life :)

Today was a short walk day for two reasons 1) we didn't get started until 7:30pm tonight and the sun just does not stay up late any longer and 2) I don't think either one of us was really into the walking tonight.  It was windy - and if you've ever been up walking across the dam at the lake during wind - you know that can take a lot of energy.  It's also not smart to take a week off and then jump back into it. A day or two off, doable, a week...not so much.  I guess that's a lesson in training for something so huge.  You can't expect to step into the fast pace of it all - and once you're at that pace you can't expect to walk away from it for a longer amount of time and fall back into it right away.

Tonight - I'm tired...exhausted.  The good thing is that we did it, we walked our 40 minutes - which is really short compared to what we've been doing - but it's still better than nothing.  :)


82 days until the Vegas Strip at Night for the Rock'N'Roll 1/2 Marathon!!!

Garage Sale Fundraiser = Success!

Thank you so much to everyone who helped by playing any part of the fundraising garage sale this past weekend...those who donated their time, their things to sell, their tables, those who stopped by to offer support, those who found some great buys, and to those who threw extra money into the donation jar.  A huge thank you to Christina and Layni for sitting in the hot sun with me all day.  It was a wonderful fundraiser that added $225 to the fundraising efforts.

The first wave of fundraising letters will be going out tomorrow morning - to those who live far away and do not necessarily have access to Facebook and all the updates posted there and on here....and to those who are on the Crohn's Krushers list from the past few years. :)  The next wave of fundraising letters - to those who live closer - will be going out later this week (hopefully!).

Officially, the fundraising total is currently $763...we are getting closer and closer to the halfway point! We are now 83 days away from 1/2 Marathon day!

"I am too positive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful, and too determined to be defeated."  -Fight Crohn's Disease :)

The Journey to Vegas Begins!

Hello!

It has been suggested by one of my wonderful friends that I share the link to my blog on my fundraising site - and so if you found me through that - welcome!  It's a great idea, thanks Erica!

An update on where everything is at:

My doctors appointment went really well last week!  I have a wonderful doctor who supports me with my battle against the Crohn's and who always seems to have my best interest on the top of the priority list when it comes to managing my disease.  For now, we're going to stay on the maintenance routine - and I'm going to stay healthy as I continue my journey to Vegas with Team Challenge. :D

Team Challenge - we are in the swing of things now!  There are weekly conference calls with the coach, a wonderful mentor to guide me along the journey (a shout out to Abbe!) and awesome support from Cindie with CCFA.  The support that I'm receiving on the national level is amazing!

And of course - the support starts with the foundation of my friends and family - you wonderful people reading my blog right now.  It never ceases to amaze me how wonderful you all are.  The comforting words when I'm sick, the friends and family who understand when our nights out are cut short because I'm sick, the wonderful people in my life who are donating to the cause - so that maybe one day the research will lead to a cure.  My life would be a very dark place without all the support - thank you for being a part of the joy in my life.  It's with your help I'm going to tackle this tremendous goal and I'm going to cross finish line on December 2 (with my good friend, Christina, right beside me all 13.1 miles).

My dear friend, Erica, also suggested a countdown to the marathon...and so I will end my blogs with a countdown each time I publish a post.

Right now...we are 87 days away!  We are currently at $538 raised (it's actually a little higher than that because we did have a few really awesome fundraisers through Tastefully Simple and Pampered Chef that have not been added into the total yet).

If you haven't visited the site yet...please do...you can find it at:

http://www.active.com/donate/nationLV12/crohnskrushers


Dream Big!

~Amanda